12 Rules for Life: Fine Fine I’ll Fix My Posture
Dr. Peterson
If you haven’t noticed the book that
topped The Washington Post’s and Reuters best
sellers lists (1, 2) that has already sold over 700,000 copies in the U.S.
alone (3), then may I introduce you to 12
Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos by Dr. Jordan B. Peterson. Before
becoming a bestselling author, Peterson was a professor at Harvard and still is
a professor at The University of Toronto in Canada. While his field of study
and practice is psychology, he became obsessed at a young age with trying to
understand why the world was on the brink of nuclear war during the Cold War.
This obsession is what led him to write his first book Maps of Meaning and post his lectures online for free*, which is
where he first started gaining notoriety. Millions of people watched his
lectures. Although he’s become associated with controversial subjects such as
the Intellectual Dark Web (3), and Transgender pronoun issues, you don’t have
to agree with him on anything to get something out of his book.
The Book
The structure of his book follows a list
of rules that originated from a list of 40 rules he wrote in response to a
Quora question:
1.
Stand
up straight with your shoulders back
2.
Treat
yourself like someone you are responsible for helping
3.
Make
friends with people who want the best for you
4.
Compare
yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today
5.
Do
not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them
6.
Set
your house in perfect order before you criticize the world
7.
Pursue
what is meaningful (not what is expedient)
8.
Tell
the truth – or, at least, don't lie
9.
Assume
that the person you are listening to might know something you don't
10. Be precise in your speech
11. Do not bother children when they are
skateboarding
12. Pet a cat when you encounter one on the
street
This book is over 400 pages and over 15
hours if you read it as an audio book, which is what I did, as I didn’t have
the money to buy it at the moment nor the patience to wait until I did. You can
get a free audio book through audible.com and get a 30 day free trial.** So
bear in mind the fact that I generally prefer to read physical books and am
unused to the audio format for the next couple of criticisms. The book seemed
unduly long. While I understand Peterson’s desire to be thorough, for most of
the rules I understood his point and the research to back up his point, but
there would still be more talking. Even people who watch his lectures and love
his content know he can get verbose. I’ve heard some claim that it is because
he wants to present himself and his ideas and the research he discusses as
clearly as possible so as to avoid misunderstandings and misconstructions of
his words, not that it doesn’t, unfortunately happen anyways.
Another potential criticism of this book
is that a good portion of the book seems geared towards boys and young men. But
I still found the advice Peterson gives to be applicable to any gender (ha ha).
Not only that, but as a direct rebuttal to my own complaint that Peterson can
be verbose I reiterate that I said that “for most of the rules” I found him to
be overly wordy.
The Exception
The main exception to that complaint
comes from the first chapter “Stand up Straight with your shoulder’s back”. For
quite a while back in my memory, I have had bad posture and people attempting
to re-enlighten and correct me in it. Maybe it was after my dad was rear-ended
by a car going 30 mph around a turn and had his back permanently injured that
the posture kick started. Thankfully, most of his pain subsided after
chiropractor visits, but there the chiropractor mentioned that my dad could fix
his posture. My dad, mom, my at the time 2 siblings and I were all sititng
around the dinner table, when he related the comment. My dad pointed at me and
said, “Your posture is almost as bad as mine.” He wiggled in his seat
attempting to “sit up straighter”. I’m not sure if he deliberately was trying
to look ridiculous for laughs, he actually thought that was good posture, or I
was just so unused to good posture that it looked ridiculous.
Regardless, I was not induced to correct
my posture. It somehow briefly became during dinner someone would yell, “Posture
check” and then eventually, “I’m the judge” had to be added immediately
afterwards or someone else could judge and find you lacking. My parents quickly
got annoyed with it. I mainly remember my younger siblings abusing it, but I in
all fairness probably did as well. “Posture check” was abolished. My posture
never improved though, I just temporarily stopped slouching at dinner.
I Persisted
When we went to adopt my youngest sister
from China, our guide somehow thought it would be fine to comment on my posture
and grab my shoulders and push them back with her nails in my spine. She
mentioned that her posture used to be bad and that to solve it her mother had
bought her a metal pole that attached to her back to fix her posture. Being 13,
I was even less thrilled with the idea of my parents criticizing me for
anything, than I had been during the age of “Posture check”. So I was horrified
of this woman giving my parents any ideas. Again don’t know if my dad was
joking, but he liked the idea, and my mom said it wasn’t a big deal and I
really did need to fix my posture. Somewhere else along the line, I had gotten
the idea that if I didn’t straighten up I would eventually turn into an old
woman with a permanently humped back unable
to stand up straight with permanent damage to my spine and an old age filled
with pain. Despite this exaggerated fear and those random but suddenly pronounced
criticisms, I still refused to fix my posture and was pretty defensive about
it.
In comes 12 Rules for Life, the book I’ve been dying to read and the first
rule is “Stand up Straight with Your Shoulders Back”. Like come on Dr.
Peterson. Really? You too. The entire chapter, which I already
semi-unconsciously (really knowlingly) decided I would listen, say “yeah yeah,”
and not take that advice, was a battle. Dr. Peterson waged it by talking about
lobsters and dominance hierarchies. He shot facts about lobsters and their
habits at me, which while they subtly proved his point, mainly served to
distract me from the fact that he was actually arguing for good posture, a
thing that though it’s good for me I had come to despise. It was my rebellion,
my refusal to be criticized, my refusal to give into fear mongering, wherever
it came from.
What was I actually doing?
Peterson’s chapter showed me that while
that was all fine and dandy in my head, that wasn’t what I was presenting to
the world. Bad posture signifies that you aren’t dangerous. But why would I
want to be dangerous? For crying out loud, it took almost 5 years of Karate
from when I was 8 till when I was 13, for me to learn that I was ok to defend
myself. Before Karate and my sensei’s advice to walk around corners with a wide
breadth so you can at least see the attack coming, I honestly doubt if someone
had hit me or attacked me that I would have given myself permission to fight
back. So reading this book, I was sitting comfortably thinking that I had gone
from someone who wouldn’t hurt a fly to someone who would at least swat at the
thing that stung me. But actually be dangerous? No.
“Corruption”
Don’t get me wrong. I hate when people
think that I am innocent. As I was walking to the high school I tutor at, some
old woman***, said as I passed her that she thought I was 8 from a distance. Old
woman aside, I have had 3 people in the past 2 years claim that after hanging
out with me for a while they “corrupted” me. When the first of those 3 did
that, I spent a considerable time trying to figure out what evidence I had that
she was wrong. I remembered that back in high school as I became comfortable
with the people in orchestra, I had started saying more along the lines of what
actually I thought. Instead of just avoiding commenting on a piece I didn’t
particularly like, I openly said I didn’t like parts. I even started responding
sarcastically. They also had claimed they “corrupted” me. So when the second of
those 3 people informed me that he had “corrupted” me, I said something to the
effect of “Funny. X said that, and so did the people in orchestra. Weird how as
people get to know me they suddenly think they have “corrupted” me, when I
start being sarcastic and actually voicing my opinion.” When the third of the 3
in the past two years, I said, “You know what’s weird. You’re the third person
to have “corrupted” me.” He joked it off and reiterated his “corruption” of me
a couple days later. I was fully aware that looking at me most people assumed
“naive square” and never needed to reassess me, and evidently if they did they
merely thought it was their corrupting influence.
I’ve tried to figure out what it is. Some
claim it’s my schooling, but those are generally the people I’ve told my
educational background to, those who don’t know never even think school has
anything to do with my “naievety”. Most people claim innocence doesn’t have a
negative connotation to it, but call them it later and they are offended. Is it
my gender or my height? But my friend is shorter than I, and no one “corrupts”
her. Is my face? I continued asking
questions till I got bored or too depressed with the line of thinking to
continue.
Meanwhile
Jordan Peterson was still going on about
lobsters and trying to convince me to fix my posture. My defenses were being
battered relentlessly. Cracks appeared
in their foundation, but also my resolve, as I mentioned these chapters are
long. If this one hadn't been though, I doubt it would have been sufficient to convince my stubborn self. So perhaps that is why the chapters are so long, they are made for those who have built up defenses against the advice that is actually good for them.
The final blows came: “So, attend carefully to your posture.” got that
Peterson.**** “Quit drooping and
hunching around.” you sound like my parents. “Speak your mind.” …
“Put your desires forward, as if you had
a right to them—at least the same right as others.” fair enough. i’ve got the
same rights as others. that makes sense. “Walk tall and gaze forthrightly
ahead.” …maybe then they’ll not think I’m naïve. probably still will. but it
can’t hurt. “Dare to be dangerous.
Encourage the serotonin to flow plentifully through the neural pathways
desperate for its calming influence.” i am desperate for peace. i’ve mentioned
before that I struggle with anxiety and struggle is the right word. any extra
peace and happiness that I can get is welcome. i’ve also mentioned that I was a
shy timid person. maybe the bad posture is a remnant of that time before
Karate, when I didn’t want to be noticed. i’m still not that sure that I want
to be now. that word “Dare”. it is a gamble. but what have I got to lose? “Dare to be dangerous.” Alright I’ll try it.
Now buckos: go clean your room and then
read Dr. Peterson’s book. It’s abzurd if you don’t. Aim for the highest good,
go rescue your father from the underworld, and lobsters, and all that. (Those
are all JBP jokes, but seriously though, give the book a try)
So, attend carefully to
your posture. Quit drooping and hunching around.
Speak your mind.
Put your desires forward, as if you had a
right to them—at least the same right as others. Walk tall and gaze
forthrightly ahead.
Dare to be dangerous.
Encourage the serotonin to flow plentifully
through the neural pathways desperate for its calming influence.
–
Dr.
Jordan B Peterson
12 Rules for Life: An Antidote To Chaos
Notes:
*Full
disclosure: I watched his videos before 12
Rules for Life released and agree with him on many issues. Nonetheless, I
don’t think he’s infallible and he’s just a smart guy with ideas and I like
hearing about how other people think.
**Maybe one day
I’ll get paid to say that, but today is not that day.
***Ha my revenge
lol
****yes it’s
deliberate. i did it deliberately. Hopefully, it’s deliberate enough that you can
get the change.
Sources:
Post Picture: “Dr.Jordan Peterson delivering a lecture at the University of Toronto in 2017.” By
Adam Jacobs
(1)
"Bestsellers: National nonfiction". on The Washington Post. February 2018.
(3) Weiss, Bari "Meet the Renegades of the Intellectual Dark Web" on The NYTimes.com
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