Colleague Personality Conflict For Teachers
Personality
I am fascinated with personality quizzes. The
most scientifically rigorous personality scale is called the Big 5 personality
spectrum thing. Its acronym is OCEAN. It stands for openness,
conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Openness
measures how willing you are to accept change. Conscientiousness measures how
orderly and dutiful you are. Extraversion measures whether hanging out with
people gives or takes energy, regardless of whether you like the people.
Agreeableness measures how much you want to avoid conflict and please people.
Finally neuroticism measures how much negative emotion you have.
Ignored Extremes are the Problem
Before I move on, I want to stress that neither
being low in openness nor being high in openness is automatically horrible. In
fact none of these traits can be considered ‘bad’ it is only if you are too
extreme on one of the traits and you don’t do anything to avoid it. For
example, if you are high in extraversion you are probably the life of the party
everywhere you go, but immediately start running out of things to do if you are
alone for two minutes. On the other hand if you are low on extraversion, seeing
an unexpected acquaintance on the street can make you want to run for the hills
in order to avoid talking to one extra person. Both extremes if ignored can
become unhealthy lifestyles.
Connection to Teaching
How does this relate to teaching? It’s well
known that most teachers are women. In fact in the 2011-2012 school year over
75% of teachers were women (1). The average woman is high in agreeableness and
neuroticism (2). While of course individuals vary, When you combine the fact
that most women are teachers and that most women are high in agreeableness and
neuroticism, the type of advice most teachers need to deal with conflict is
going to follow these lines. While of course individuals vary, I think the
advice I am about to give can be helpful to everyone, even if you aren’t a
neurotic agreeable woman. Again I want
to stress that this isn’t necessarily a good or a bad thing. It’s only if the
extremes are ignored that this can become a problem.
Agreeableness
People who are high in agreeableness tend to
get along better with others and are seen as more personable. This is the
positive aspect of being high in agreeableness. This is why you want to try to
strive to be agreeable to a certain extent. A non-agreeable person can struggle
with picking fights over every little thing and cause extreme disharmony within
groups. However, on the other hand, there are drawbacks to being too agreeable.
The problem arises from agreeing to things you shouldn’t agree to. Sometimes it
is appropriate to allow small annoyances to slide by. Sometimes it is even
appropriate to allow non-trivial infractions to slide by, because it is just a
one-time thing. But if for example a colleague talks down to you on three
separate occasions or diminishes your contributions on three separate
occasions, it becomes something you cannot ignore. In fact if you do ignore it,
you have taught the person that it is ok to treat you like that.
Personally
I am
high in agreeableness. So the idea of confronting people on how they treat me
is very intimidating. However, I’ve learned it can actually be worse for
relationships over time if you don’t address things. How much do you care about
this relationship? If it’s someone you won’t have to deal with regularly, then
it is ok to ignore it. However, if it is someone you do have to deal with and
you want to have an effective working relationship, then because you care about
the health of the relationship you must speak up about the infraction.
Neuroticism
Women on average are also high in neuroticism,
which means that they have higher levels of negative emotion. This means we
worry more. It also means women are more cautions on average then men. This can
be an asset in that it keeps women from making rash and unsafe decisions. A
healthy amount of worry is actually helpful for people. On the other hand it
can also make women run themselves ragged over things that they shouldn’t even
give a second thought to. Combine this with women’s propensity to agree with
people and you have the perfect storm.
Both and What it Means
The average woman can imagine conflicts, due to
her high tendency towards neuroticism, and then bend over backwards to avoid
annoying the person, due to her high tendency towards agreeableness. How can we
avoid this as teachers? The first step is figuring out your own personality and
recognizing your tendencies. This allows you to see both what your strengths
are and what you could improve at. Several websites will allow you to take the
Big 5 personality quiz for free though they do then offer you optional paid for
add-ons that don’t necessarily improve your experience. Once you take the Big 5
make sure you understand what it means. If you don’t understand the data, then it
can’t help you. Finally, be cognizant of your decisions with the new focus that
your understanding of your tendencies gives you. If you are high in
agreeableness and neuroticism, like I am, then you need to make sure you don’t
let people walk over you and make sure to realize that not every little event
means that you are a bad teacher. At the same time revel in your strengths, you
are a peacemaker and don’t make rash unsafe decisions. This makes you a
reliable team player.
What about you?
Did you take the Big 5 personality
quiz? Have you heard of it before? Have you taken it before? How do you deal
with conflict in the workplace? Let me know in the comments.
Notes:
Sources:
Image Credit: "22/365- Testimonial!" by Courtney Carmondy
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